What is the etiquette for inviting plus ones to our wedding?

This is an issue that crops up in most couples’ wedding planning: who does and doesn’t get a plus one? Wedding plus ones are a little factor that could make the world of difference to your day, so when you’re writing your guest list, make sure it’s put together carefully.

 

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When we SHOULD add a plus one…

If you know someone is in a long-term relationship, engaged or even married, the polite thing to do would be to invite their other half – especially if they’ve done similar favours for you in the past. When couples are serious, they generally attend most events together. Put yourself in their shoes: would you be happy if you were invited to a wedding without your partner?

Another reason you should consider giving your guests a plus one is if they would be uncomfortable being there alone. Perhaps they don’t know many of the other guests very well or are travelling a long way to attend. It would be nice to give your guest a plus one for some company in these kind of situations. Weddings are about coming together after all, so if you can afford to give up an extra place on the guest list… The more the merrier!

And when we SHOULDN’T…

We all know you don’t want to offend anyone by missing them off the guest list. However, if you don’t know them at all or they’ve not been with your guest for a long time, it’s an awful lot of money to spend – especially if your venue is charging a price-per-head fee (which most tend to do).

For example, you should probably invite your friend’s fiancĂ© who she’s lived with for years even if you’re not close. But it’s not totally necessary to invite your 17-year-old cousin’s boyfriend who she’s only been with for a few months. It’s about judging each circumstance and being fair to both your guests and yourself. If you do that, it will all work out perfectly in the end!

How to deal with guests who question…

It’s quite rare that this will happen because most guests automatically understand your reasoning for not mentioning an extra guest, but sometimes people will ask for a plus one even if it’s not specifically written on their invitation. It’s important that, in these situations, you stand your ground. Politely explain why they weren’t allocated a plus one and reinforce how much it means to you to have them there – with or without a partner. If they’re a real friend, they’ll understand and sympathise with your situation. After all, weddings are costly!

What are your views on allowing plus ones? Are you having these problems yourself? Feel free to leave a comment below and let us know your thoughts!

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